she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
