I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
