She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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