i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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