So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
