do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
