Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
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