I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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