Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize