I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
