I can tuck mytits in my pants
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
