smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
