Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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