both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
