its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Randomize
