i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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