the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
