its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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