8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
