at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
