You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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