Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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