We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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