the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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