I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
