Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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