how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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