I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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