sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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