Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
