2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
