but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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