Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
