I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Randomize
