she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize