ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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