Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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