is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
