Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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