All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
No stitches, just platelets and will power
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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