Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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