Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
