that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
