Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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