I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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