I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
