Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
