Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I just found puke in my bra..
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
