i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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