I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
She said her name was "party"
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
