the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
