New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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