So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
i just had sex bonerless
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
