I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
