i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
