They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
