Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
