an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Randomize
