It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
