there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
