i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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