i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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