My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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