Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
