Define "chronic" masturbator.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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