No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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