I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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