come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
